Ordinarily, I’d “save” this kind of post for my personal blog. But not today.
Today, we lost a man to suicide, and his name is Trey Pennington. His loss is painful, indeed. In fact, it’s angering. It feels hopeless and impossible and like so many things, we wish it could have been prevented had we just seen it.
But depression is a wily beast. It is not obvious. It is not kind, nor is it bold. It is not friendly, or social, or like to make itself known in our most intimate circles. It is a foe that we cannot hope to best if not for our own diligence in seeking it out and destroying it.
Trey, I grieve for you. For your family. For the friends that loved and will miss you, and there are clearly many, both online and off. I cannot claim to be one of those that knew you best, but I can only say I knew you some, and I liked you so much from instant one. I am truly aggrieved that we should need to move on without you, whose spirit infected the very room you were in. You were a good man, in a sea of those that pretend to be. The balance is indeed amiss.
My friends, the War Against Hopelessness is real. It is there, next to you, in the most unexpected places. It is real for so many people who cannot and don’t know how to ask for help.
Depression does not want us to be the best we can be. It does not want us to be ourselves “in spite” of what happens around us. It wants to win. To bury us. To drown out the light and leave only darkness in its wake. And today, it won. At. All. Costs.
Please know that asking for help is not easy. Giving help is not easy, and it is not reserved for those who know you best. Asking for the truest, most survival-nature of help is impossible in the best of circumstances is the hardest thing you will ever do. And giving it, even for someone you aren’t at all sure you know, is the most selfless act you can commit.
Please listen. Please ask. Please intrude. Please hear. Please know that hope is there, even when you cannot for the life of you see it through another’s eyes. Please give it, even when you aren’t sure at all that it’s needed. Please. Please.
Trey, may you find the rest and peace you seek. You will be missed.